Comparing Yourself to Others: How It’s Harmful

Comparing Yourself to Others: How It’s Harmful

Good looks doesn’t mean a happier, more successful person

Comparing yourself to others is a bad habit. It can destroy your real self-worth.

“That model has a way nicer body than me.”

 “He has such a nice car, that it makes my car look like a beater.”

 “I usually have a very happy life, but whenever I see that social media model, I am reminded of all the reasons to be disappointed.”

 Do any of those phrases sound familiar?

Do you ever compare yourself to others?  Most likely you’re guilty of it and the end result is not pleasant. Honestly, everyone does every now and then.  It’s a hard habit to break.   When you envy someone for something they have, you make yourself feel worthless.

Comparing Yourself To Social Media Stars

 Many of us feel the most self-comparison when we see a gorgeous social media fad follower living their best life, buying designer brands, pictures that look light and airy, and probably going to France every other month.

 But that’s just it, It’s their job.

 Their job is to convey a brand of perfection to followers through filtered pictures and Photoshop. They want the impressionable youth to believe they live the ideal life. Enticing you to buy their merchandise (or whatever it is they are promoting through affiliate marketing) is their ultimate goal.

 If we look behind the curtains, the secrets of their reality, we will often find negativity, depression,  distrust, faulty relationships, and more.  

 We can’t blame them trying to make a living by putting themselves on display, it is their job after all.

 Wanting to portray a life that is far more privileged than reality is not a bad thing either, it is human nature, and no one wants their downfalls or problems exposed to the general public after all.

It’s Time For a Reality Check

Quite likely you thought, “There must be something wrong with me” or “I must be completely worthless because I am not like him/her.”  This blow to your ego can affect you for years to come if you let it.

 You are not worthless because you lack something someone else has.  Apparently, this person had a means of support that you never had.  Also, both of you lived distinctly different lives.  

 Someone will always have it better than us, just like we will always have it better than someone else.

 Thus, comparing yourself to others can damage your self-esteem and diminish your entire self-worth.

Realize, No Two People Are Alike

As the saying goes, “no two people are alike” and nothing could be closer to the truth.  While this person you envy has a similar lifestyle to yours, no two people on this planet lived exact, duplicate lives.  

Each person alive today has been shaped by countless experiences and circumstances in their life, good and bad.  Such things that make up an individual to be what he/she is today are their:

  • Culture
  • Family
  • Background
  • Personality
  • Health
  • Physical traits
  • Intelligence
  • Beliefs
  • Hobbies
  • Interests
  • Friends and relationships
  • Education
  • Career

These are only a few things that determine what type of person this individual you’re comparing yourself to truly is.  And granted nobody lived a life exactly as he or she did.  Hence, this person likely had certain opportunities, and training, or knew certain people who helped him or her obtain this quality or possession you wish you had.

How Can We Put Values on People?

Can we compare people?

Is there any way we can assess a person’s overall self-worth?  Can we come up with a formula that will assign each person a number or dollar value representing how good they are?  Absolutely not!  

Hence, it’s not wise comparing yourself to others?

Numerous attributes can be used to evaluate a character by. Each person does well in some areas and poorly in others..  Even if we knew all one’s character traits such as their:

  • Patience
  • Attitude
  • Self-discipline
  • Habits
  • Level of ambition
  • Attention span
  • Ability to concentrate
  • Tolerance level
  • Personal scruples

 these things would be helpful. We can determine how skilled or wealthy a person might be, but still cannot place an overall numeric value on them indicating their real self-worth.

Comparing yourself to others means comparing yourself to people who have had problems and misfortunes themselves.  And so you feel you’ve been cheated at times? So do they! And in the meantime, they envy the qualities of others as well.

Nobody waltzes from one success to another in life.  Everyone encounters obstacles along the way. And if you could only know the hardships your admirals lived through, it may shock you.

Imagine how powerful you would be if instead of focusing on what you aren’t, you say “I am in control.” “I value myself, my journey, and my individuality.” “I was placed on this earth to be me, not someone else.” “I am one of a kind. I am just as capable of living my best life, as everyone else.”

You just might become unstoppable.


If you continue to compare yourself to others, you will discover that all the negative emotions pile up and get out of control. It is much like a snowball rolling down a hill. It starts off small, nothing major. Yet, as time passes it collects more and more little flakes until it becomes seemingly unmanageable. What once fit in the palm of your hand grows large enough to squash you if allowed to do so. 

While comparing yourself to others, you are chipping away at who you are. You strip yourself of your identity in a vain attempt to fix something that isn’t broken. Redirecting your thought process, changing your scenery when possible, and focusing on your own achievements are all great ways to avoid living life by comparison.  Learning to love and accept yourself is quite a journey, but it is worth every step.